belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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