i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
