the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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