She is in my trunk
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
