Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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