Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
