We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
