Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
