There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
