Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i think my cat just said my name.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
