Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
someone owes me an orgasm
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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