i think my tv is drunk
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
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