Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
