She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
