i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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