I can tuck mytits in my pants
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
