You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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