I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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