WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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