Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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