They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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