Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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