I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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