I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
my poor anus
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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