she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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