I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
