I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
