Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
