There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize