i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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