I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
