dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
