Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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