singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
