They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
