I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
this beer tastes like vomit already
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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