i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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