i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
