By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
