There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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