Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the condom got lost in my hair
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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