Can Purell be used as lube?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
