At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
