I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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