i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
