Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
