I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Help. Why am I so naked?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
