Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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