I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
