My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I showed him my bush... on skype.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
