and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize