Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
