Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
