We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
